I refuse to believe that I’m the only person in this here Substack community that loves a self-help book. (Affirm me in the comments please!) Buying them floods my brain with sweet dopamine, and that’s before I’ve even cracked the spine. Whether it’s a book that I think will give me the answers I’m seeking, or a subject matter I already know about but need reminding of, there’s a combination of excitement, curiosity, and hopefulness that I feel. Of course, reading the book is one thing, and doing the work is another, but still.
My friend Alice always rolls her eyes when I begin telling her enthusiastically about a book I’ve just finished that she has to read. “Another non-fiction Evs?” she says. She’d love me to read a novel from time to time. I believe fiction can teach us things too, and it’s nice to tap out of real life once in a while and let our brains play, but I also love scientific research, case studies, and chapters interspersed with diagrams.
Besides, I’m a polygamous reader, I typically have one fiction and one or two non-fiction books on the go at a time. They’re all on entirely different subjects, of varying lengths, and structured completely differently, so it’s easy to dip in and out of them depending on my mood.
Anyway, the point of this post isn’t to justify my reading habits, it’s to share 8 books with you that have taught me valuable lessons within the broad realm of wellbeing. Here goes…
But first, do you love a self-help book? What’s your fave? LMK <3
MENSTRUAL WELLBEING: I’ve had horribly painful periods since my early teens, so when my sister recommended this book to me, my ears pricked up. Anyone who struggles through menstruation probably agrees that one of the most frustrating things about it is the sheer lack of information as to why some people can breeze through their period, while others have to take time off work, cancel plans, and convince others that yes, the cramps really are that bad. In this book, Maisie explores the female menstrual cycle and the science behind hormones and periods. She also addresses common myths and misconceptions surrounding menstruation in a witty, relatable way. It’s an empowering read that really helped me to understand my body and feel like I can take control of my health and make the most out of my cycle. There’s lots of practical advice on how to manage period symptoms (much needed because hitting my 30s meant experiencing whole new realms of PMS!) and ways to enhance your overall wellbeing, too.
NUTRITION: *Disclaimer* I’m a little biased on this one because I worked with Melissa and Jasmine for about five years as they redefined what healthy eating looks like for many. This book (and Mel and Jas) taught me A LOT about nutrition, and why it’s really just about taking it back to basics with natural ingredients, prepared at home. I’m also a better, more confident, and more resourceful cook for having read it. I’d recommend it to anyone who wants to understand a bit better how the food you eat can make you feel, how to centre natural, unprocessed ingredients in your meals, and how to make healthy food that’s truly filling, delicious, and simple. Also, if you fancy some wholesome further reading, check out Melissa Hemsley’s Substack, ‘Things That Make My Heart Sing’.
SEXUAL WELLBEING: Emily is a sex educator and researcher, and in this candid and compassionate exploration of women's sexuality, she breaks down every bit of fluff the patriarchy has ever fed us. The book is peppered with humor and personal anecdotes woven in with scientific research, meaning it never gets too laborious. The most fascinating chapters for me were on the different contexts that play a role in female desire and arousal and how the stress-response cycle inhibits sexual response. There’s a lot of unspoken anxiety and confusion around what’s ‘normal’, and what I love about this book is that Emily doesn’t just insist, she explains how and why, there simply is no normal. Of course, this ties in with the myriad ways that the female sexual experience has been manipulated by the media, which she also covers. There are lots of thought starters and a few exercises to work through to help better understand your own sexuality and sexual experiences. Honestly, this book made me feel something new with every chapter: sad, curious, angry, reassured, and horny. Read it, get your friends to read it, and if you have a partner, get them to read it too.
TRAUMA & HEALING: Ooof, where to start with this one. I’m a firm believer that unprocessed trauma, be it lived or inherited, calcifies within us, and manifests itself through mental and physical ill-health, personal relationships, and beyond. In this book, Bessel van der Kolk explores the lifelong effects of trauma on the body and mind. He shares a staggering amount of research that indicates how difficult experiences can manifest in physical symptoms, such as chronic pain and illness, and mental health conditions, such as PTSD and depression. The book delves into the most successful treatments for dealing with trauma with a ton of case studies, from EMDR therapy to practices that encourage you to mindfully connect with your body. It’s a heavy read and can get difficult at times, but I recommend leaning into the bits that resonate the most and taking breaks to reflect, journal, or talk to someone you can confide in about it. The resounding message is that there is always a resolution to be found, but identifying and addressing your trauma is imperative.
MENTAL WELLBEING: I discovered Kimberley Wilson through Instagram when I was researching an article I was writing for Health & Wellbeing Magazine a few years ago. She’s a psychologist, nutritionist and passionate advocate for mental health. Her debut book is a practical guide to understanding and optimising brain health, perfectly combining her areas of expertise. First, Kimberley explains the brain’s structure and function and the ways in which it can be affected by lifestyle factors such as diet, sleep, and stress. She then goes on to share practical, holistic, and easy-to-implement strategies for improving brain health and cognitive function.
SPIRITUAL WELLBEING: I love Eckhart Tolle. His words are like a soft, reassuring hand on your shoulder. We all know we need to be more present, but it’s hard, isn’t it? In this book, Eckhart draws on his own personal experiences and insights from various spiritual traditions to show you how it’s possible to break free from negative thought patterns and live consciously. There’s a lot of ego talk, which can be hard to hear sometimes (because well, ego), but is very insightful. It’s astounding how much of what we perceive to be ourselves is actually attached to our ego. Eckhart’s teachings essentially show us just how much ego can hinder our ability to experience true peace and happiness. The way I see it, I’ll never be 100% present 100% of the time, but by observing my mind rather than judging it, and remembering that life is just a series of present moments, I can prevent myself from getting carried away with anxious thoughts.
DIGESTIVE HEALTH: Working in the food and wellness industry gave me a lot of insight into topics that I may have never otherwise delved into, one of them being gut health. I remember reading about how the gut is the centre of immunity, meaning all disease can be traced back to it, and that over 80% of our serotonin is created in this internal ecosystem. The more I learned, the more fascinated I became, which eventually led me to pick up this book. It explores every inch of the digestive system’s inner workings - from the role of bacteria in digestion to the gut-brain axis. There’s also practical advice for maintaining a healthy gut, dietary tips, and lifestyle advice. Julia breaks down complex scientific concepts in a way that’s engaging and informative, albeit sometimes a bit cheesy. The book will inspire you to tune in to how food makes you feel, and see with a whole new light just how big a role this often-overlooked part of the body plays in our overall health.
MENTAL WELLBEING & COGNITION: I read this book while cooped up at home during the pandemic. Having my existence condensed right down, with all distractions removed, inspired me to reevaluate how I spend my time, and this. book. was. a. game. changer. Who’d have thought there was a science to habit formation? Not me. This book is practical, actionable, and not as scary as I thought it would be. There are lots of diagrams too, that really help if you’re a visual learner. James emphasises the importance of small, incremental changes, hence the term "atomic habits". It takes time to build a habit or break a bad one, but it can be done. Take his 2-minute rule for example, which basically states that when you start a new habit, scale it down to 2 minutes. So if you want to work out, literally work out for 2 minutes, but do it consistently, then work your way up. The reason this strategy works is that once you’ve started doing the right thing, it is much easier to continue doing it. You begin to identify as someone who does that thing. Making tiny changes and sticking to them consistently over time, rather than relying on willpower or motivation alone, is what builds long-term positive change. Shout out to my sister because this was another one of her great recommendations!
Love this list, Eva! Thank you 🤍
‘The body keeps the score’ was my bible through masters study. Thank you for this, a few of these will be next on my list!